AMAZON PLAYMATES ON THE MOON
As Mrs. Sleuth and I were getting a great view of the Space Station and Shuttle orbiting the Earth the other night, my mind naturally flew to the 40th Anniversary of the Moon Landing. “Four decades after the Apollo 11 crew,” wrote the Washington Post, “shuttle Endeavour and the space station have also made history: The 13 astronauts have set a record for the most people in space at one time.” We’re more impressed that in ‘69, they set a record by having FOUR WOMEN on the Moon at one time!
But that was during the second Moon Landing … the first we’re celebrating holds special significance for Sleuth: Since my father was involved in the space program for four decades—one of the main reasons I felt compelled to adopt my shamus pseudonym—I spent boyhood summers at Cape Canaveral as it was being built…and in later years became friendly with the second man to walk on the moon, Buzz Aldrin—who remains in terrific shape {which is why he has no objections to showing his face}!
My hometown paper trumpeted the feat the following morning, with flight commander Neil Armstrong replying to Richard Nixon’s congratulatory phone call to the moon: “Thank you, Mr. President. It’s a great honor and privilege for us to be here representing not only the United States but men of peace of all nations, men with interests and a curiosity and men with a vision for the future.” But what about the women?
40 years later, when President Obama welcomed the trio—Michael Collins had orbited above in the Command Module–he couldn’t help gushing…and neither could Sleuth’s buddy Buzz when he laid (eyes on) the heavenly body of swinger MAMIE VAN DOREN shortly after returning from the Moon. “On this 40th anniversary of the first landing on the moon,” Mamie just emailed me, “my thoughts go to that romantic adventurer, Buzz Aldrin. Buzz and I spent some memorable and erotic times together some decades ago, and he is often in my thoughts {as well as in her orbit these days}! After all, a man who could make it to the moon, could make it with me anytime.”
And while she’s also friendly with Aldrin’s wife of 21 years, Lois—a busty blonde in the mold of a certain Ms. VD—the similarities don’t end there: Buzz’s first wife, when he went to the Moon, was named Joan…which is Mamie’s real name! {Joan Lucille Olander}. “Listen! Aren’t you all excited?” Mrs. Aldrin screamed at reporters pelting her with “inane questions” soon after the Eagle set down. “They did it! They did it!!” As did her ex and Ms. X•citement, who clearly saw the universe through the same lens. How else to explain Mamie’s early starlet pose with a futuristic robot having an uncanny resemblance to Buzz beside his LEM (Lunar Excursion Module)! Or that both released new books just a year apart. Each has been honored on a bizarre postage stamp—”Lick ‘em and stick ‘em,” coos Mamie, as well as commemorated with a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame, less than a block apart: Buzz at 6300 Hollywood Blvd. with his crewmates, and Mamie at 7057 on the same street…though for some reason(s), the latter gets more visitors!
And while astronaut Aldrin has been immortalized in this painting as one of the world’s most famous Masons -alongside Mt. Rushmore sculptor Gutzon Borglum -only Mamie’s mountains have made it to the top! Both continue to keep a high profile these days, with Buzz marking the 40th anniversary by hosting a piano recital by the Boston Pops orchestra…and Mamie keeping tune in her incomparable way {com•pair to the way she showed Sleuth)! Aldrin waved from a car during the 1969 ticker tape parade down Broadway…while Van Doren did the same recently, with a galactic backdrop, in Hollywood. Why, Mamie’s mams were even compared to giant missile silos where the Apollo rockets were housed! It seems only their boots were different …
Yet perhaps the eeriest similarity between the former date mates is Mamie’s prescient performance -precisely one year before Buzz’s lunar landing -in the 1968 cult classic Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women, when drive-in director Roger Corman asked unknown newcomer Peter Bogdanovich to film footage of Mamie to add a “sex angle” to a 1962 Soviet schlockfest called The Planet of Storms. “We cut to a shoreline,” reads Richard Romero’s review, “and Mamie Van Doren -wearing white spandex pants and seashells over her naughty bits -lies on the rocks and awakens.” According to Bogdanovich, the biggest challenge for his then-wife, costume designer Polly Platt {whom he dumped for starlet Cybill Shepherd while filming her topless 3 years later in The Last Picture Show} was “finding seas shells big enough for Mamie. But she managed somehow.” And somehow Mamie managed to gain re-entry 40 years later in the porn parody flick Sex Galaxy, as pneumatic Puma Swede shed her “sea shells by the sea shore” {as a pre-lewd to more adult tongue-twisters}.
Most surprising of all, however, was that the evil space traveler who menaced Mamie in Voyage to the Planet looks uncannily like balding Buzz! And speaking of surprising, the stacked sweater girl is as up front as ever these days, having hinted to Sleuth that “the Moon wasn’t all that Buzz Aldrin landed on around that time!” Shortly after he returned from space, it seems, and after he had divorced that other Joan, Mamie fondly recalls a night she and the astronaut spent under the stars on Malibu Beach. “I remember being on my back in the sand,” she teases, “and looking up at the full moon above us and thinking: “Wow! He just came from there, and now …”. Now head off to www.MamieVanDoren.com for her latest and greatest!
Standing rigid on the hard surface as he erects the flag, Buzz radioed Mission Control that “you have to be careful about where your center of mass is,” to maneuver on the Moon … and Mamie must’ve located hers expertly to allow him to dock. OK, enough mooning … this E-mission must END.
CENTERFOLDS IN SPACE
Mamie has been a fixture in Playboy -she shares her birthday with Ronald Reagan, Eva Braun, Babe Ruth, Axl Rose and Tom Brokaw -and its Mansion since the Sixties…but she was never a centerfold {nor a bedmate}. And while she has a firm connection to the first moon landing, it is the SECOND FLIGHT, Apollo 12, that really put the naughty bits in orbit !
“Does anyone know who the girl from Playboy magazine was, or which issue, that Alan Bean had a picture of on the moon,” read a recent post on the Collect Space.com fan forum. “Also, do we know who placed it in his equipment?” Well, here’s the universe•al truth from the Sleuth…
More relaxed after the nerve-wrecking first attempt, mission control contact David Scott -coincidentally the Gemini 8 mate of Neil Armstrong -decided to pull a prank on the 3rd and 4th men ever to step on the moon, commander Pete Conrad and pilot Alan Bean, and sneak two black & white photostat copies of Playboy Playmates into each of the cuff checklists that the moon-walkers wore on their wrists during their Extra-Vehicular Activity (EVA) excursions on the surface.
The first to discover the prank was Bean -note the checklist on his left cuff -when, in the midst of myriad tasks, he turned the page to find Miss December 1968 CYNTHIA MYERS -so hot {Sleuth supplies the original} that they had to be printed on fire proof paper -trimming her tree! But contrary to numerous ‘net nerds…and all four Wikipedia entries for the quartet…it wasn’t their centerfolds that became the first NASA Nudes, but rather images from the 1970 Playmate Calendar -which had been released shortly before “take off” on Nov. 14, 1969. Speaking of which, we’ve managed to un•Earth this rare outtake featuring a flash of pubic hair, which was totally forbidden in the bunny mag back then!
“It was about two and a half hours into the Extra-Vehicular Activity,” Alan Bean fondly recalled in the brilliant 2007 documentary In the Shadow of the Moon. “I flipped the page over and there she was!” {Merry Xmas}. Across the bare•n’ surface, Conrad was “flipping out” at the same time: “I hopped over to where Pete was {Cynthia two was familiar with the Bunny Hop},” Bean chuckles, “and showed him mine, and he showed me his” {thankfully, not their astro•nuts}.
Minutes later, Bean was hopping past Head Crater {we kid you not!}, prompting this dubious exchange, direct from NASA’s logs. Bean: “Oh, man. Conrad: “Does that look as good as it feels? Bean: “It does. Hey, I’ll tell you the way to do it, Pete!” Conrad: (Joyous laugh). Here I come, ready or not.” Their even more sensual-sounding exchange an hour later, while collecting rock samples, can best be illustrated with alternating Then & Now similiari•titties supplied to Sleuth by Cynthia. Bean: “Okay. Get a couple of big ones.” Conrad: “Oh, I wish we could get that, Al.” Bean: Try that one. That’s a good one.” Conrad: “Huh?” Bean: “A couple of nice ones right here” {with rare shaven pubes}. Conrad: “Oops” {all grown out today)! And in case you think we’re making this up, here’s the official time log …
“I had no idea that I’d been in space,” Cyn tells us…though she had a heavenly way with a telescope! “I had met a couple of astronauts -actually 9 or 10 of them at the Playboy Mansion {once again, buddy Buzz boldly went where no one had before} -but it wasn’t until I met a wonderful guy on the Internet who was a fan of space sexploitation…er, I mean, space exploration. ‘Have you met Al Bean?’ he asked me, and I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about.” But nowadays, Miss December is open to discussion (her e-mail from last week).
Picked by Playboy as the # 10 Centerfold of the Century {with No. 20, DeDe Lind}, Cyn recently had a 40th Anniversary of her own! And amazingly, it was recognized by Schlitz Beer, which has just launched a “Summer of 69″ Tour -fronted by magnificent Myers as its “Gusto Girl.” Sleuth dug up the uncut original pose, but it wasn’t just “Back Then” that her body quenched thirsts: “I love to be able to put on a nice, sexy dress and still be able to fill it out in all the right places,” she coos. Our beer babe is hardly ready to head off into the sunset, but has one regret regarding her moon man: “We have 3 Purple Hearts in my military family, and my grandfather, uncles and mother would have loved my going to the Moon. And they died without ever knowing about it. And that makes me sad.”
What makes her glad is hearing from fans at: Cynthia Myers, Box 10, Llano, CA 93544-0010 as well as those who buy her autographed 8 x 10s from: www.CynthiaMyers.com. “I didn’t realize that my boobs were that big!” she laughs about her Double-D 39s in ‘69…but nobody’s laughing now. Her “moon shot” included instructions for the astronauts to follow: “DON’T FORGET DESCRIBE THE PROTUBERANCES,” and Cyn can only imagine how not having to deal with gravity would have felt on the weightless Moon: “I’d have a big advantage…I’m real,” she points out. “I have no silicone, so I would have stood up proudly anyway. I want to thank Al Bean for that {standing at attention -he’s inspired me to keep everything in the right place” {three cheers for the red, white and boobs}! No wonder Apollo Al still has that checklist today…though with several grandkids around, it sometimes falls into the wrong hands.
Much like today’s DVDs and Blu-ray discs, Prankster Dave Scott -who made it to the Moon as Apollo 15 commander -managed to sneak some “Bonus Comments” into Bean’s cuff checklist…including Miss January 1969, LESLIE BIANCHINI, whose “Activity” Bean was instructed to “Survey” {the original is provided for closer inspection}. Surely one of the most beautiful Playmates ever, the 36B-24-37 Bianchini also had one of the most perfect Hutch hindquarters {even more pert in this unused outtake}. Al•ass, Leslie turned her back on modeling soon after landing on the moon…and retired to Malibu to train Arabian horses.
“I had no idea they were with us,” Alan Bean’s Apollo 12 cutup commander Charles “Pete” Conrad chuckled back in 1994. “It wasn’t until we actually got out on the lunar surface {Pete erects the flag} and were well into our first moon walk that I found them.” And by “them,” he means REAGAN WILSON’s. The original shows just how (hay)stacked the 40DD-25-35 Miss October 1967 was back then…and she’s still a barn burner today, telling Sleuth:”I’ve lost some weight, so I’d say I’m around 38D-29-37 now” … at age 62! “Yes, the picture taken to the Moon was my calendar shot,” Reagan continues, “which is called ‘Hi There Cowboy‘ (top right) and available for sale on my site,” www.ReaganWilson.com. “And I’ll be happy to sign them too.” Her real name is Diane {as in this rare 1972 pictorial} , but since the aspiring actress was performing in Shakespeare at the time she was given the gatefold, she adapted the name of King Lear’s middle daughter Regan…then added the surname Wilson…ironically the real middle name of Ronald Reagan, whose adopted son Michael she “often hung out” with. Clearly he likes buxom blondes.
“I didn’t know until many years later that my photo went to the Moon,” the curvy California native tells us, “until an article appeared in Playboy about it. Having my picture taken there was one of those experiences that is so special and unusual that I’m still getting asked about it. E! Entertainment arranged a meeting with Pete Conrad and me at his amazing jet propulsion laboratory in Newport Beach, which was a real thrill. I had lunch with him and talked about moon flight. I had always wanted to know how long it took to go to the Moon and he said two days {actually five}. He died on his motorcycle not long after”… crashing his Harley on July 8, 1999 and being buried with full military honors at Arlington National Cemetery.
“We giggled and laughed so much,” Conrad quipped about discovering the Playmates on his moon walk with Bean, “that people accused us of being drunk or having ’space rapture.’” And who could blame them? -considering this post-Playboy pose of Reagan, also sold on her site, the well worn original of which Sleuth has treasured since 1975! Her “great passion was traveling” {though also quite a handful At Home}, so it’s only fitting that Reagan recently remarked to Sleuth: “The floating wonderful feeling they showed in the movie Apollo 13 was what I imagined it would be like to be in outer space with my clothes off … and some cute astronauts in a space capsule is my idea of a really exciting journey! When I met Tom Hanks at a party honoring the astronauts he thought it was ‘a great thing I’d done for my country’ -maybe tongue in cheek but very charming. And to be honest,” the candid centerfold continues, “it would be refreshing for someone of my ‘magnitude‘ to not have to worry about support while in zero gravity.” In a similar laid back pose today, ravishing Reagan supports the merits of having “zero” done!
“We didn’t get boob jobs,” she smiled the other day. “They didn’t even have boob jobs back then!” Which may be why she feels, “I still look good … at least that 23-year-old guy yesterday thought so!” Guys of all ages should share their thoughts {and order some of her views} by e-mailing at: dhornig@gmail.com or writing to: Reagan Wilson, Suite 867, 1223 Wilshire Blvd., Santa Monica, CA 90403. “I’m hoping to reconnect with a lot of collectors that I’ve lost touch with by virtue of this Celebrity Sleuth Spotlight,” Reagan e-mails us. “I’m hoping to hear from some old friends from the past as well as the new collectors.”
One bosomy bud she may be hearing from is fellow traveler Cynthia Myers, who admits feeling “overlooked” when “everyone was talking about Reagan Wilson going to the Moon, and I hadn’t even been told I was on the same flight!” When I tell Reagan this, she says: “I’d never heard that Cynthia’s photo was on Apollo 12. I only knew about Angela Dorian {the ‘other women’ on Conrad’s list, next paragraph} and me! I’ve seen Cynthia at a bunch of conventions and she’s never even mentioned it.” Only Miss December 1978, Janet Quist separates them at the con-fab, so perhaps fans can one day dream of the two “Amazon Playmates on the Moon” settling this once and for all -as Reagan did with a “similar to Cyn” brunette in this vintage catfight that Sleuth hit upon!
Conversely, Wilson and Myers have yet to run into the fourth and final female ever to land on the Moon, and the second snuck into Pete Conrad’s cuff checklist, ANGELA DORIAN. That’s no reflection on her, since Miss September 1967 was a teen model {a rare window into the pose NASA later chose} and “one of the first actresses to do Playboy,” she pointed out. “I had twenty-six TV shows, all lead parts {including intergalactic Star Trek} under my belt, plus Rosemary’s Baby” where, trivia buffs note, Mia Farrow meets another young woman in her NYC apartment building and asks her if she “is the actress Victoria Vetri?” The “in joke” being that is actually her real name, though her character “Terry Gioniffrio” is billed in the credits by her “Playboy name” of Angela Dorian -which Vetri’s agent suggested to the 16-year-old starlet in 1961to capitalize on the famous 1956 shipwreck of the Italian luxury liner Andrea Doria.
“My family wasn’t too upset about it,” Victoria revealed about posing for Playboy. “My father being from Sicily and kind of old fashioned, was still an ass pincher {like her moon-baring jeans}. So he was kind of proud of it” … especially when his daughter became 1968 Playmate of the Year! “I’m crazy about the Sun,” she said at the time. “It’s so impossibly warm and beautiful.” An apt self-description, a year later, when the Moon was on her horizon!
Fittingly, her final film credit was 1973’s Invasion of the Bee Girls, in which research scientist Vetri is snatched and stripped by shade-y aliens who try to transform her into an “intercourse-intent insect” who will “sexually exhaust” human men. “I had fun making it,” the buxom blonde buzzed, “but I preferred the shooting title The Honey Factor” … though they cleverly covered her honey pot with a prop! She also insisted on keeping it covered when the bunny mag came calling for a 1986 “Playmates Forever” retrospective: “I had already established that I hated Playboy and everything it stood for,” Victoria vented. ‘”And then my agent said, ‘Well, it can’t hurt.’ I said, ‘OK, on one condition. I did Playboy B.P. – Before Pubic. I’m not going to show any frontal nudity. I want it as modest as I can have it and I refuse to pose as if I’m visiting my gynecologist like these other girls.’ So they said, ‘OK, fine.’ I got what I wanted.” So did Sleuth, when his sting operation netted the 36-21-35 Bee Girl victim’s only pubic peeks ever!
And even though she disappeared from the public eye after suffering “a broken nose and broken ribs following a brutal attack” in her home, we’ve also been able to find the most recent known photo of the still-lovely sexagenarian and uncover the fact that she now lives quietly as “Victoria C. Vetri” or “Victoria Cecilia Rathgeb” {her fourth marriage} in West Hollywood.
But someone who clearly hasn’t forgotten her is acclaimed author of The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown, who named the heroine of its prequel, Angels & Demons, “Vittoria Vetra.” Brown acknowledges that he “is a long-time admirer of the actress and intentionally modeled” Angels & Demons’ Italian physicist on Vetri. He certainly modeled his buxom blonde wife Blythe after Victoria as well! And in the recently released 2009 film of his book, Vittoria Vetra is played by Israeli beauty Ayelet Zurer. Naturally, Sleuth solves the mystery by finding Ayelet undressed in the obscure foreign film Fugitive Pieces !
So as we conclude this longest-ever post on the Apollo Anniversary and its Playmate past … it seems only “The Right Stuff” that we END by landing on the first Native American centerfold, for October 1966 … Linda MOON.
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