“You guys know your president, right?” Etta ad-libbed the intro to her signature song, “At Last,” in Seattle’s Paramount Theater just 8 days after Barack Obama’s inauguration. “You know, the one with the big ears. Yeah, wait a minute, he ain’t my president–he might be yours {or Mickey’s}. I tell you that woman he had singing for him, singing my song, she gonna get her ass whipped. The great Beyonce {and her great Beyooty}. Now, like I said, she ain’t mine {and it belongs to Jay-Z!}. I can’t stand Beyonce! She had no business up there singing”—but she clearly meant business up there humming at the Jay-Zipper come pool time!

Etta was singing a different tune the day after the inaugural ball, claiming to be “ovecome with pride” and according to her son Donto James—who was on the phone with Mom throughout the first dance— “She thought it was great. She’s gotten emotional, just like everybody else.” Clearly…and the catfight that ensued made headlines around the world! Etta tried to pass her comments off as a joke, claiming: “I didn’t really mean anything. Even as a little child, I’ve always had that comedian kind of attitude…That’s probably what went into it.” Sleuth, however, has heard the audio tape of James’ “jest”—for once she was Bleepless…in Seattle—and she seemed totally serious and “into it.”

And she’d been totally into Beyonce {an early ass-et to the Obama campaign} the previous month at the movie premiere of Cadillac Records, in which the busty belter was embodied by Ms. Knowles. Indeed the legendary James “girls” were matched by those of blonde Bee—make that C! The two divas compared notes at the premiere {hopefully not about Jay-Z’s Johnson} and sealed it with a kiss. Beyonce turned the other cheek when Etta turned on her...so perhaps it’s time to turn our attention to the R&B legend’s T&A …

She was born Jamesetta Hawkins on January 25, 1938 in Los Angeles to an unmarried 14-year-old black woman, who later told the child her father was legendary pool shark Minnesota Fats—an idol, ironically, of the prez she’d later diss {running a Ba-rack}. Like her mom, Etta would have a life-changing experience at 14, being plucked from the church choir to record a female “answer song” to the infamous underground hit “Work With Me Annie” by pioneer Hank Ballard, who later wrote and recorded “The Twist”! Etta’s reply record, “Roll With Me Henry” was a thinly veiled invitation to rock ‘n’ roll (the era’s euphemism for sex): “While the cats are ballin/You better stop your stallin/It’s intermission in a minute/So you better get with it/Roll with me Henry/You better roll it while the rollin’ is on”!

Etta’s been rollin’ on for the next 55 years…with a sexsational stage act that was X-rated: “Some people are turned off by the sight of a 300-pound woman shaking her ass and doing stripper squats,” wrote a reveiwer 30 years ago, “and rubbing the mike cord up between her legs. Many are not charmed when she lovingly caresses the mike head as if it were a fat and fecund Johnson bar, giving it a catlike lick of her tongue {still at it at the House of Blues recently}, her eyes rolling in her head in a spasm of mock ecstasy. When, on occasion, she would perform fellatio on the microphone, the place would absolutely go into a panic.” As do those who cross her…

Now having lost 200 pounds due to 2003 gastric bypass surgery, she has kept the attitude: “I’m a mean mother,” Etta once declared. “My fantasy is walking down the street in leather with a machine gun and a wet towel, poppin’ asses!” So would she really pop B.Kno’s {which these days rivals J.Lo’s}? You bet your ass she would…

In true Sleuth fashion, we leave you with this rarity from the vintage Vault: Etta James’ phat ass proudly protrudin’ when she was a fightin’ 40 year old! Bee afraid, be very very afraid…

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BootyVicious is a post from: The SleuthSayer