“I’ve danced all my life and been in a few parades!” an unknown New Jersey model gushed in June 2007 when selected as Miss Howard (Stern) TV. Alas, she didn’t get invited to this week’s Inaugural Parade!

“AMBER LEE ETTINGER probably did more to spread Barack Obama’s name around the world than anyone else,” England’s Daily Star noted just after his November election, “by performing a love song called ‘I Got a Crush on Obama’ on the Internet. Over the past 17 months, an estimated TWENTY MILLION people have watched her sexy routine in a tight T-shirt and cutoff jeans. Some put the total viewing figure at 50 MILLION! (Obama won with around 67 million votes). “I didn’t think it would get this HUGE” Amber admitted.

How could we not…with lyrics like: “So I put down my Kerry sign/Knew I had to make you mine,” followed by, “I cannot wait ’til 2008/Baby you’re the best candidate/Of the new oval office/You’ll get your head of state.” And Obama Girl, as she become universally known, made clear what oval orifice she was offering up (in anonymous ad modeling in Allure unearthed by Sleuth). Plus precisely where “B-Rock” (as she calls him) should put it! “I really am shocked that this video blew up the way it did,” Amber allowed. “But I don’t want to sound like I have a big head now” (stroking the big head of her Bravo A-List Award for 2008).

[By the way, you'll get no stale "Lewinsky jokes" here: Sleuth has met Bill Clinton at least a half dozen times and he's never been anything but a great and gracious guy.]

Yet despite the song’s overt offer that, “You can Barack me tonight” (now cut it out, Girl!), her candidate crush was not amused: “Sasha asked Mommy about it,” Obama opined of the video. “She said, ‘Daddy already has a wife’ or something like that {who looked something like this—in a controversial bust in a NYC gallery). I guess it’s too much to ask,” the candidate concluded, “but you do wish people would think about what impact their actions have on kids and families.” What Amber wished was for some face time with her Crush: “I just feel it,” Obama Girl gushed. “It’s bound to happen one day. We haven’t spoken and we haven’t met yet. But we will.” In her dreams…(continued in part 3)

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Sleuth’s Truths: The initial idea for the video was “I Got a Crush on Jack Bauer”—a tribute to Kiefer Sutherland’s hero on 24 {make that 22}. But “digital strategist” Ben Relles switched to politics after the surprising success of his female take on Saturday Night Live’s smash “Dick in a Box” video (starring Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake), entitled “Box in a Box”! Written and sung by Relles’ cousin’s girlfriend, Leah Kauffman, the video was lip-synched by U. of Penn sweet-faced sophomore Melissa Lamb, with the lusty lyrics: “”Bush is ruining our country/But my bush has never lied/Taco Bell might make you sick/But my taco’s certified” (run for to board her)! Having entered with a bang, Relles applied the formula to the coming election, using the cute but curveless Kauffman again as singer and songwriter but needing a more ethnic beauty to get her baracks off.

He found her on The Stern Show, where Italian-German “Amber Lee” (not using her long last name) wowed the crowd in studio to promote her June 2007 selection as the inaugural “Miss Howard TV”: Refusing to don a bikini, the former Miss Hawaiian Tropic New Jersey 2003 instead put on lingerie she’d brought along, causing corpulent comedian Artie Lange to call her “the hottest chick who was ever in here!” After getting to smell her, Amber laughs: “Artie started offering me money to sleep with him!”—eventually reaching $200,000 and “she wouldn’t even have to kiss him, just let him fuck her.” Says the former Hooters waitress: “He was hilarious!” {Find “the funny” at www.HowardStern.com…5/21/07 show}.

What she didn’t find funny was Howard hinting that her 34DD breasts weren’t real—Baba Booey Dell’Abate even checked her bra label! When others felt Obama Girl had undergone a “Change!,” Amber spoke out: “They were saying my boobs are fake. But I’ve never had plastic surgery. If I had fake boobs, I’d say, ‘I have fake boobs.’ But definitely not, I like mine just the way they are”—though hers seemed smaller when she was an “unDiscovered” model in 2002 who listed her bust as “33.” Not to mention the usually telling “Silicone Valley!” D that as it may, at least Amber hadn’t gone to the lengths alleged by Harlem pastor Dr. James Manning, who shouted in a sermon: “She must be a 54D! Double D!! Obama, that’s the first place I saw his name—on two great big ol’ tits!” But when Our Girl con-fronted the Rev. on camera, he backed off.

Another debate Stern would happily host is over Miss Howard TV’s sexual orientation: Asked if she’s “ever had a lesbian experience?,” Amber replied, “Yes, who hasn’t? LOL” {Lady On Lady?}. To the queery, “If you could have sex with someone on the Stern Show, who would it be?,” she purred: “One word…Robin. Love her!” {Quivers gave her shivers flashing on June 6, 2001–a real D Day!}. And while most MySpace profiles list “Orientation,” Ettinger’s only reads: “Single.” No wonder she evasively explains that Howard “asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said no.”

Breasts and broads aside, there’s one issue on which O Girl leaves no doubt: “I don’t do any nude pictures. And I don’t feel like I do any kind of lacy, racy pictures.” We’ll let the voters decide: Sleuth’s cOllection includes pert pOkies, camel tOe, see thrOugh and full-on areOlae!

We have a winner! While Amber says she “cried” when the election results came in, and flew in for the inauguration, she still hasn’t Capitolized on “it” with  her Man: “He’s pretty busy,” she smiles. “I don’t think I’m gonna meet him this week, but maybe someday. I’ve met his campaign manager (David Plouffe) and it’s opened a lot of doors. I never would have expected to be invited to the White House Correspondents dinner”—or to almost be felt up there by an interviewee!

So, can we finally END this super-sized entry on a high note? “Yes We Can!”

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