“I did not feel good about doing the interview,” mam•nificent MEREDITH VIEIRA explained on The Today Show why she turned down the coveted first sit-down with parolee Paris Hilton after she left prison in 2007. “I just said, ‘I don’t think this is right, this is all about ratings. We’re better than this. It’s good to have your own kind of journalistic compass.” Even if it routinely points south …
“Vieira Mortified By ‘Naked’ Video” trumpeted the lead story on AOL earlier this month, less than 12 hours after Jay Leno “played a series of clips showing Vieira’s early days in broadcasting. He ended,” Popeater reported, “with the most revealing—a fully exposed still of the anchor on The Naked News, leaving little to the imagination.” Actually, the obvious fake left everything to the imagination! “Wow, I feel so liberated!” {and so badly photo shopped}, Meredith mused in the silly segment—professing that she “hadn’t seen the video yet” and “was taken aback by the whole charade.”. So taken aback, apparently, that she was ready with a quip about her stint on the buff broadcast: “Just one month!”—which, supposedly shocked co-hostess Ann Curry. I mean, do they think we’re all idiots {and not just the ones who get up in the wee hours of a winter morning to hold up banners hawking their legal services on national TV}?
Naturally, the “log rolling” media lined up to flog the phony story for the Emmy-winning host of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire—with over 15,000 syndicated stories cropping up on Google by mid-morning. Wow, fake news travels fast! “Who was your mentor, David Letterman?” lightweight Al Roker remarked {referring to the late night host’s ongoing sex scandal}, as Ann advised: “Well, don’t try that now!” The supposedly stunned Vieira instantly interjected, “Nooo! They’re way down here now! I wouldn’t do it now.” Actually, this lovely publicity pose is probably the last time the so-called “MILF Gold Standard” ever kept her legs closed!
“The Today Show may be losing Katie Couric’s legs,” Gawker.com lamented when the longtime morning hostess moved to evening in September 2006, “but there’s still hope if Meredith Vieira takes her place: Vieira eschews underwear in favor of nature’s breeze” {eschew on this for a bit}! As the National Ledger later expanded: “Meredith Vieira appeared as a host of The View several times without wearing any underwear. Will she take this tradition to Today ? Vieira never pulled a Sharon Stone Basic Instinct type move (or did she?) on ABC’s show {Sleuth shows its small screen equivalent}}, but according to AOL’s TMZ, she finds wearing underwear with pantyhose redundant” {as guest host David “Stretch” Gregory of Meet The Press shockingly found out}.
“I tend to mouth off now because it’s the freedom I haven’t had,” Meredith opens up. “Sometimes I think, ‘God, did I just say for the sixteenth time that I don’t wear underpants and that my husband pokes me when I’m sleeping?’” Saying she “prefers leotards and pantyhose to panties,” Vieira later seemed vexed when reminded of it: “Someone said it was in an article,” she sniffed, “and ‘Why would you give the job to someone who doesn’t wear underwear?’ What difference does it make? It’s not like I’m sitting there with my legs open” {well, on occasion}.
“How long before Meredith Vieira tells Matt Lauer she isn’t wearing any panties?” an in•quiring mind asked Yahoo when she took Today by storm {chill out, Matt}! No wonder that when Meredith asked guest Stephen Colbert this past March, “Do you Twitter…Tweet?,” the rogue Report-er replied: “I have Twatted.” “Oh my gosh,” Vieira gasped. “Well, actually, so have I !” Indeed … but at least the first-generation Portuguese proved she didn’t have a Brazilian when she found herself going to the dogs in a hairy moment while “twatting” on Today !